For some, the word tantrum is a new vocabulary, for others, a tantrum is not just an old word but a source of embarrassment, that has probably resulted in hurriedly leaving a public place or has led to series of apologies and suspicious stares.

A tantrum is an episode of extreme anger and frustration characterized by crying, screaming, and violent body motions, including throwing things, falling to the floor, and banging one’s head, hand and feet against the floor.

Tantrum, also called temper tantrums, can occur by the age of 15 months or even earlier, but are most frequent between the age of two and four. All children have them at some point , and active, strong-willed youngsters may have as many as one or two a week .Generally, tantrums are an expression of frustration, children may be frustrated by their inability to perform an activity they are attempting, such as buttoning a coat. Tantrums may also be an expression of frustration at the lack of control children have over their lives, such as at bedtime when children want to continue playing instead of going to bed.

Common problems

Having tantrums is a normal part of growing up, however, they are not socially acceptable behaviour. Consequently, the most common problems with tantrums are problems from the parents, the tantrums often takes place in public, which can be embarrassing and make them harder to deal with calmly. If the child actually hurts him or others or has very frequent tantrums, it may be a sign of behaviour problems, and the child should be assessed by paediatrician.

A frequently asked question by parents at Newfield schools has always been: How do I handle tantrums?

Here are some ideas that we often share with parents at Newfield Schools.

• I see you: Get in the habit of catching your child being good. Reward your little one with praises and attention, to positive behaviour.
• Choices: offer minor choices such as “Do you want orange juice or apple juice? This way, you aren’t asking “Do you want apple juice now? –which inevitably will be answered “no”.
• Out of sight, out of reach: This makes struggles less likely. This is often hard to control outside of the home. Keep all source of anger away from their reach.
• Change course: Take advantage of your little ones short attention span by offering something else in place of what they can’t have. Start a new activity to replace the frustrating or forbidden one.
• Discovers domain: Help kids learn to do things. Start with something simple before moving on to more challenging skills. Praise them on
• I’ll weigh the request first: Is it outrageous? Maybe it isn’t. Choose your battles.
• Capacity build up: if you know your toddler is tired, do not tire him out the more.
• The Louder she yells, the softer you should speak: Your child will end up matching your volume because, ultimately, she wants to engage with you. Remembering that she is feeling frustrated may help you stay calm.
• Time for a bear hug: This may feel like the last thing you want to do when your kids is freaking out but it really can help her settle down, and don’t say a word when you do it. “Sometimes, they just need a safe place to get their emotions out”.
• Body language: speak firmly, maintain eye contact, also your facial/body expression should express this firmness, then discipline without spanking.

Conclusion

Remember, tantrums usually aren’t cause for concern and generally stop on their own. As kids mature, they gain self-control. They learn to cooperate, communicate and cope with frustration. Less frustration and more control will mean fewer tantrums and happier parents.

Written by:

Onyinye Okeke

^{For Newfield Schools}

  References

1. Encyclopaedia of Children’s Health – Chances, Paul and Jacob Azerrad: Tantrum; psychology of violent children, current (October 2001)29.
2. Kennedy, Michelle, Tantrums, Hauppauge. NY Barron, 2003
3. Reviewed by; Lauren M. O Donald, PSYD. Date reviewed; June 2018.
4. Tantrums and create Cooperation. New York, NY; Royale/reach 2001
5. “Temper Tantrums in young Children.”Journal of Development and Behavioural Paediatrics 24, no.3 (June 2003) ;140